Human Kite
From high above the battlefield, the Human Kite, alias Kyle Broflovski, swoops into action, striking fear into evil-doers everywhere. Blasting away his foes at range while supporting his fellow Coon and Friends members, the Human Kite is a powerful ally to have on your superhero team.''https://southpark.ubisoft.com/game/en-us/characters/index.aspx '''The Human Kite' (sometimes called Human Kite) is the alter-ego of Kyle Broflovski in ''South Park: The Fractured But Whole''. The New Kid first encounters the Human Kite during the quest Alternate Universes Collide where the Human Kite is being threatened by a "me from another universe". The 'Alternate Human Kite' is Kyle's visiting cousin, Kyle Schwartz, who wants to be a Human Kite too (and he did became a "Human Kite 2"). Appearance and Personality The Human Kite wears a sleeveless teal-colored costume with a grey hood; the opening of the hood is diamond-shaped (vaguely resembling a typical kite shape). A large red and yellow kite resides around his neck with most of it behind him, profiling his head; it has loops on its spars for him to hold onto. His outfit has a multi-colored kite on the chest and noticeable points on the shoulders. Personality wise, Human Kite is one of the level-headed members of the Coon and Friends team, although he can get temperamental at times, evident during the time The Coon briefs on The New Kid's supposed backstory and when the mastermind behind Professor Chaos's evil scheme is revealed. History Human Kite sides with Coon and Friends for most of the story. He is formally introduced in the mission Alternate Universes Collide, and will be an available combat buddy after the mission. On the first day, he will be seen in the Coon Lair, suggesting that Scrambles, the missing cat, may be simply dead somewhere in a gutter. He is then assigned by The Coon to 'look for signs of the cat in the sky'. However, he ended up trapped in the issue with his cousin, Human Kite from another universe. After The New Kid helped Human Kite deal with his issue, he gladly becomes an ally to The New Kid, and allows The New Kid to have a selfie with him. Human Kite later fought against the Sixth Graders alongside The New Kid and Super Craig, exclaiming "no mercy" as Super Craig remains hesitant on taking down the Sixth Graders. Human Kite also showed up during the first Civil War, being the one who sent the alert to the Coon Lair during the moment The Coon upgrades The New Kid with another superhero class. He will then be seen updating the situation to The Coon and The New Kid upon their arrival at the scene; he will then (optionally) take part in the battle. After the battle is over, he will then comment that The New Kid is really getting the hang on their superhero role-playing; he then rushes over to The Coon's location after being notified by Super Craig on his whereabouts. Later in the Coon Lair, after Super Craig examined Doctor Timothy's cellphone which The Coon managed to obtain during their confrontation with their rival faction earlier, Human Kite lashes out at The Coon over the extremely silly backstory that he has created for The New Kid (mainly focusing on the tremendous trauma that The New Kid experienced after witnessing the intimate event between The New Kid parents), as The New Kid remains silent after being questioned by Mosquito and Super Craig. However, The Coon overlooks the main point that Human Kite is trying to express, accusing him of trying to 'steal' The New Kid's backstory. This causes an argument to break out between Human Kite and The Coon; it was then halted with the intervention of Mosquito. Human Kite, enraged, then proceeds to leave the Coon Lair as Super Craig, Mosquito and Fastpass follow suit, with Super Craig trying to calm Human Kite down. On the first night, Human Kite generously offered his "Kite Express" to Captain Diabetes and The New Kid as a fast method to reach Main Street, though it made Captain Diabetes complain about the Kite Express base being unkempt and not set up properly. He is then seen in the Italian restaurant beside The Coon and Mosquito, heeding The Coon's call after being updated by Captain Diabetes. After taking down the chefs of the restaurant and a massively drunk Randy, Human Kite alongside the other Coon and Friends members returned back to the Coon Lair, having managed to apprehend "the stripper with the dick tattoo". He later left the Coon Lair in fright after The Coon's mother, Mrs. Cartman threaten to call his parents for staying up late at night, apologizing to her along the way. The next day, Human Kite (as his alter-ego Kyle Broflovski) is seen leaving South Park Elementary together with The Coon (as his alter-ego Eric Cartman), Fastpass (as his alter-ego Jimmy Valmer) and The New Kid. Later that day, he made a call to The New Kid, asking for assistance to deal with a recurring issue: his cousin. During the confrontation against Human Kite's cousin, Human Kite will join in the fight if his mother got attacked by The New Kid or The New Kid's allies, after his mother is brought into combat by Human Kite's cousin. After Human Kite's mother and cousin is taken down, his mother threatens to call the police, however Human Kite prevents his mother from doing so, admitting that it is his fault while apologizing to his mother and cousin. His mother then decides not to report to the police, with the condition that his cousin's kite is brought back down from the tree in the house backyard. After analyzing the scene, The New Kid then assists Human Kite in bringing the kite down from the tree with The New Kid's farting powers, which amazes Human Kite. This made Human Kite labeling The New Kid's ability as Fartkour, and willingly offers his help whenever The New Kid needs to reach somewhere high up. Human Kite is later seen at the playground with The Coon, The New Kid and Fastpass, which states that a member from their rival faction wants to meet up with them. After witnessing The Coon getting mentally assaulted by Doctor Timothy, who later showed up with Mysterion and Tupperware, he will (optionally) partake in the second showdown against their rival faction. After bringing down their rival faction yet again, Human Kite will be seen regrouping at the Coon Lair alongside his fellow Coon and Friends members. He then states that it'll be difficult to access, as the place has been barricaded with "lava". However, they then manage to come up with an idea to get their rival member's services, who has the ability to clear the "lava" by using the The New Kid as a makeweight. Abilities An alien combating the persecution of kites across the galaxy, Human Kite, aka Kyle Broflovski, is an Elementalist/Blaster hybrid with fucking laser eyes. Nemesis: Human Kite from an Alternate Universe. - In-game character description With less-than-stellar health, Human Kite works best at range, where he can use his abilities without exposing himself to heavy enemy attack. His Kite Shield is useful for improving his allies' durability as they approach the front lines, and his Jetstream is an effective tool for both healing and rescuing allies from dangerous situations. His Laser Burn is a fairly powerful distance attack, and Wrath of Kite allows him to hit a large area with high damage and the Burning status effect. His field ability is Fartkour, which allows him to get up to high places with the help of The New Kid's farts. *'Laser Burn' - Rake a target with Kite's laser eyes. **Range: 3 horizontal tiles toward the enemy in front of him **Damage: Moderate **Status Effect: None *'Jetstream' - Pull allies close and Heal them. **Range: 3 horizontal tiles in front of him **Dammage: None **Status Effect: Pull and heals ally *'Kite Shield' - Grant Protection to a teammate. **Range: Any Ally tile within surrounded range **Damage: None **Status Effect: Ally gain Protection *'Wrath of Kite' - Ultimate - Inflict Burning on your enemies from space. **Range: All enemies tiles in front of him **Damage: Moderate **Status Effect: Burning Quests Given *Alternate Universes Collide *Alternate Universes Collide Again Quotes (IN-PROGRESS) Field/Story During Alternate Universes Collide * "Who the hell are you?" * "Really? You sent a newbie to my distress call? You're such a dick Coon!" During The Hundred Hands of Chaos * "Oh no. Nonononono." * "It's Cartman's dumbass hand puppet." * "Shut up! It's not Mitch "stupid fucking" Conner!" * "Fuck this, I'm going to bed." During The Thin White Line * "It was right of you not to fart in his face after he told us what we needed to know. You're very forgiving." (if The New Kid spares Jared) During To Catch a Coon * "Hit him again." During Farts of Future Past * "Get out of the way, you guys! We've got to stop Cartman before he starts all this!" * "WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT!" * "We're ALL Freedom Pals! We're from the future, you fat turd." * "Cartman, I swear to god, if you don't knock it off I'm-" * "Admit it!" * "You ARE Mitch Conner! You always have BEEN Mitch Conner! And you better stop RIGHT FUCKING NOW!" * "I'm not making it up, dude." * "You fucking drop it...fatass..." * "If I was just fucking with you... Then so was HE." * "Yeah, why?!" When using Fartkour * "Man, my whole outfit are reeks now; thanks a lot!" (after using Fartkour) * "You're...really good at that." (after using Fartkour) * "Man, we are really high up." (when standing on a high place after using Fartkour) * "I can see my house from here!" (when standing on a high place after using Fartkour) * "Kind of chilly up here, I wish my costumes had sleeves." (when standing on a high place after using Fartkour) Battle * Selected ** "Let's go!" ** "Human Kite!" ** "Ready!" * Battle start ** "From the sky swoops justice!" * Battle start, Mosquito in a Honey Pot ** "Mosquito is coming with us!" * Turn start ** "Human Kite: ready to swoop!" ** "Feel the wrath of...HUMAN KITE!" ** "No mercy, guys!" ** "Oh, I'm up? OK." ** "It's Kite flying time!" ** "All evil fears the lasers of kites." ** "Time to fly!" ** "Time to shoot the lasers." ** "Swooping in on a breeze of justice!" ** "It's about to smell like burning in here." ** "It's gettin' windy in here!" ** "Half-kite, half-man, all crime fighter!" ** "Earth's mightiest kite!" ** "Check your watch, crime: It's kite time." ** "Human Kite cleared for takeoff!" ** "Beware, evil! For from the sky comes a kite!" ** "These updrafts have recharged my eye lasers! Human Kite is ready!" ** "The wind brings it with justice: Human Kite is here!" ** "Swooooop!" ** "Forecast: 100% chance of Kite attack!" ** "Kite power!" ** "Who needs to get lasered?" ** "Lasers, online!" * Turn start, low health ** "We've got to finish this..." ** "Kinda hope that we can wrap this up." * Turn start, versus chefs ** "This kitchen is about to heat up!" * Turn start, Alternate Universes Collide Again ** "Leave my mom alone!" * New Kid turn start ** "OK, let's see what you got, New Kid." ** "Fuck 'em up, New Kid!" ** "Give 'em hell, Douchebag." ** "You're up, AssBlaster." ** "You got this!" * New Kid turn start, against Freedom Pals ** "New Kid's gonna kick your ass, Freedom Pals!" * New Kid turn start, Alternate Universes Collide Again ** "I can't watch." * Idle ** "Well, hard to go wrong with lasers..." ** "Let's see... Barometric pressure one-oh-one-four... Slight updraft..." ** "Let's see, who to burn, who to burn?" ** "Sorry guys, got a lot to consider here." ** "There's no time limit on turns, right?" ** "Let's see. So many options." * Ally idle ** "When in doubt, punch something really hard." ** "Feel free to go!" ** "Please go. Seriously." ** "Dude, are you still conscious?" * Ally idle, versus Red Wine Drunk Randy ** "Don't let him drink anymore!" * New Kid idle ** "Don't overthink it, Butthole. Follow your heart." * Toolshed idle ** "It's totally Tool Time, dude. Do your thing." ** "I was afraid this might happen... He's got too many tools to choose from!" * Using Laser Burn ** "Pew pew!" * Using Laser Burn, Alternate Universes Collide Again ** "I'm super pissed at you guys right now!" * After using Laser Burn ** "Hope you enjoyed your laser treatment. Your skin might be a little tender for a while." ** "Now that's how you give the third degree." ** "Staring contest! You lost!" ** "You might feel intense burning." ** "Welcome to laser town!" ** "The best part of being a kite is the lasers." ** "Warning: Do not look directly into my fucking laser eyes." ** "Don't worry. Your eyebrows should grow back eventually." ** "Yes!" * First time using Jetstream ** "Yeah, I call that one Jetstream. It's a heal. Pretty handy." * Using Jetstream ** "Heal up!" ** "Galvanizing Gust!" ** "you are safe with me." ** "Enjoy!" ** "Kite rescue, coming soon!" ** "Take...this." * After using Jetstream ** "You deserve this, just enjoy it." ** "Back in business" ** "Ride it, buddy!" ** "Just relax and let me blow you back to health." ** "I'm your knight in shining Mylar." * First time using Kite Shield ** "Galvanizing Gust - and now you have a damage-absorbing shield!" * Using Kite Shield ** "Got you covered!" ** "You can count on me!" ** "Never fear, Kite's here!" ** "Here, dude!" ** "I got you!" ** "Thank me later!" ** "Gotcha!" * After using Kite Shield ** "Great, now I'm dizzy." * Ultimate ready ** "I forecast gentle breezes with a high chance of lasers and burning." ** "Let's see, what would reduce these fools to cinders, oh I know, WRATH OF KITE." ** "Feeling kind of wrathy right now, I won't lie!" ** "Not sure if you know but hell hath no fury like WRATH OF KITE." ** "I have a sudden urge to fly up to the stratosphere and just go nuclear on these pukes." ** "Forecast is blustery with a big chance of WRATH OF KITE." ** "Ready for liftoff!" * Using Wrath of Kite ** "Pew pew!" ** "Activating the Wrath of Kite!" ** "I'M...SO...ANGRY!" ** "LASER DEATH!" ** "Look at me, dudes, I'm ON FIRE!" ** "My Wrath will pound you with pillars of flames!" ** "Time to end this!" ** "Laying down the lasers." ** "Burn... BURN... BURNNNNN!" ** "Look out below!" * After using Wrath of Kite ** "I hope someone got that on video." ** "That's a kiting." ** "By the power vested in my laser eyes, I now pronounce you ON FIRE!" * After using Wrath of Kite, enemies still active ** "Whoa, people are still alive down here?" * After ally attacking ** "They totally deserved that." ** "You showed that bastard!" * Call Girl attacking ** "Thank goodness I'm on your friends list." * After Call Girl using Blocked ** "H-hey, we already have a laser user on the team." * After Captain Diabetes using Coma Combo ** "They're going to be sleeping that off for a while. In the hospital." * After Captain Diabetes using Insulin Shock ** "You fucked up pretty bad, Captain, but I think you inspired them a little, too." ** "Next round of juice boxes is on me, Captain." ** "Glad you're on my side." * After Fastpass using Hit and Run ** "Fastpass has no respect for the laws of physics." * Targeted by Satanic Seal ** "I definitely appreciat a nice breeze." ** "I did need that." * After Mosquito using Zika Rush ** "Careful, dude. We don't need the Center for Disease Control getting all up in our business." * After Mysterion using Dark Whisper ** "OK, now you're giving me anxiety." * After New Kid attacking ** "New Kid, I like the way you punch." ** "That's our Butthole!" ** "Let 'em have it, New Kid!" * After Super Craig using Mega Fist Punch ** "You punched that bastard into the next time zone!" ** "Good aggression. Good aggression. Keep it up!" * Super Craig using Omega Crash Extra ** "Now, that's using your head." * After Toolshed using Drillslinger ** "I think we just learned an important lesson in eye protection." * After Toolshed using Spiral Power ** "I bet it's harder to aim when the lasers aren't firing from your eyeballs." ** "You know, you should learn how to twirl your drills. You know, add some pizzazz." ** "They're probably going to need tetanus shots." * After Tupperware using Tupper Tornado ** "Way to pick up the spare, Tupperware!" ** "You sent them flying!" * After Tupperware using Hot Swap ** "Go get 'em, you mean machine." * After a Timefart ** "Nice time-tinkering, Butthole!" ** "You got SKIPPED!" * After a Timefart Summon ** "Nice ass-blast from the past, Fartlord." ** "Cool time clone, Butthole." * Enemy defeated ** "I like our odds!" ** "Another enemy...grounded. I can get away with that, right?" ** "Blew 'em away!" ** "We sure showed them!" * New Kid defeating enemy ** "Way to go, Butthole!" * Healing ** "Back in business." ** "Kite's got your back!" * Healing item on ally ** "I got something you should shove in your mouth!" * After using healing item on self ** "Oh, that tickles!" * Healed ** "All right, I feel an updraft!" ** "I really needed that." ** "DO feel more pep in my step." ** "I needed that." ** "I feel a lot better now." ** "Thanks. Usually I have to do all the healing!" * Protected ** "Oh yeah, I need this." ** "That's the stuff." * Reviving ** "Now soar, SOAR... Oh wait, you can't even fly." ** "Let the Winds of Fate bear you to this world again!" * Attacked ** "Kite hater!" ** "My keel! God dammit, they hit me in my keel!!!" ** "Kite resilience!" ** "Crap!" ** "Kite evasion powers: useless!" ** "Dammit!" ** "You are fucking with the wrong kite!" * Attacked by Red Wine Drunk Randy ** "I think we underestimated the power of red wine." * Ally attacked ** "Hang in there! Help is swooping your way!" ** "You'll pay for that! So swears the Human Kite!" ** "Don't let crime get the upper hand!" ** "Someone just made this kite's list." * Mysterion attacked ** "You OK, Mysterion?" * New Kid attacked ** "That's it, New Kid! Keep them distracted!" ** "Fart Lord, don't you have any powers to help you dodge those?" * Toolshed attacked ** "Toolshed!" * Ally attacked by Red Wine Drunk Randy ** "He's totally out of his mind!" * Defeated, Alternate Universes Collide Again ** "This is super not cool, guys!" * Mysterion defeated ** "Mysterion is down! You bastard!" * Bleeding ** "Soda water gets out blood stains, right? From nylon, too?" ** "My precious bodily fluids!" * Burning ** "Oh crap! I'm on fire." ** "I'm officially on fire over here, in the bad way." * Charmed ** "Huh... You guys seem kind of cool." ** "Oh... I guess you guys aren't so bad. I'll join your team." ** "Oh, I'm on a new team? That's cool." * Mosquito Charmed ** "Knock some sense into Mosquito, that'll snap him out of it!" ** "Dammit, Clyde! I'm gonna knock some sense into you!" * New Kid Charmed ** "Butthole's joined the other team! You turncoat bastar- Oh, wait, he's just Charmed." * Chilled ** "I...can't feel my face and it sucks!" ** "So...freezing. Human Kite...could really use a down jacket." ** "You'd think with my laser eyes I could just look at myself to warm up, but...it doesn't work like that." ** "You'd think Elementals like me would be immune to cold. Who made these dumb rules?" * New Kid Chilled ** "We've got a frozen Fart Lord over here!" * Enemy Chilled ** "Anyone else getting a case of the willies?" * Confused ** "Where... Where'd I leave my damn keys?" * Ally Grossed Out ** "If that gets on my shoes I'm gonna be pissed." * Shocked ** "Oh man, I've got static cling so bad right now!" ** "I'm holding a charge! Damn my rubber-soled shoes!" ** "Whoa, I think I could jump-start a car right now." ** "Crap, I'm running around 220 volts right now, you definitely don't want to stand by me." * Slowed ** "Human Kite is...awaiting more favorable wind patterns." ** "Human Kite, usually so deft and spry, is moving slow." ** "Oh man... How'd I get so heavy. I'm a kite for chrissake." * New Kid Slowed ** "New Kid... Are you going goth?" * New Kid low health ** "You don't look so hot, New Kid." ** "Super Fart Kid isn't looking so super right now. Still farty, though." * Victory ** "This is the part where the bad guys regret their life choices." ** "I'm high as a kite!" * Victory, versus chefs ** "OK, see you guys later. We're gonna go do some real superhero shit." * Victory, first battle against sixth-graders ** "Man. We kicked some sixth grade ass!" * Victory, Alternate Universes Collide Again ** "Broflovskis rule!" * Dialogue ** With Call Girl, versus High Jew Elf King Kyle *** Call Girl: "Wow, Past Kyle has such a cool costume. What happened?" Human Kite: "Hey!" ** With Captain Diabetes, after self or ally attacking *** Captain Diabetes: "Not even my podiatrist can save that villain." Human Kite: "Podiatrist? Is he like the Alfred to your Batman?" ** With Captain Diabetes, after using Laser Burn *** Captain Diabetes: "You're some marksman, Human Kite!" Human Kite: "Well, it's kind of hard to miss when you aim just by looking." Captain Diabetes: "Well, now that you put it that way, how could you ever miss?" *** Captain Diabetes: "I'd love to hear more about that heat vision of yours, Human Kite." Human Kite: "Uh, sure. I can tell you all about it someday." Captain Diabetes: "Hear that, guys? Human Kite and Captain Diabetes are like best friends now!" ** With Captain Diabetes, attacked *** Captain Diabetes: "I think they knocked your spars out of alignment, Human Kite." Human Kite: "I still feel pretty aligned, but thanks." ** With Captain Diabetes, attacked by Captain Diabetes, Alternate Universes Collide Again *** Captain Diabetes: "I hope that didn't hurt too badly, Human Kite!" Human Kite: "Well, it did." ** With Chaos Kids, turn start *** Human Kite: "Check your watch, crime: It's kite time." Chaos Kid: "Nobody wears watches anymore!" ** With The Coon, battle start *** The Coon: "Stand back! The real superheroes are here now." Human Kite: "Yeah us real superheroes are here to save the day." ** With The Coon, the Coon turn start, The Coon in low health *** The Coon: "You know, sometimes I feel like I'm the only one pulling his weight around here." Human Kite: "Well, to be fair-" ** With The Coon, idle *** Human Kite: "Just calculating some trajectories. I'll be ready in a sec." The Coon: "God, you're a nerd." ** With The Coon, character other than The Coon idle *** The Coon: "At moments like this, just think, "What would The Coon do?"" Human Kite: "Probably something stupid." ** With The Coon, after using Laser Burn, Alternate Universes Collide Again *** Human Kite: "Ready to quit yet?" The Coon: "Nah, I feel like we should see where this goes." Human Kite: "Dammit!" ** With The Coon, after using Jetstream on The Coon *** The Coon: "Nice blow job, Human Kite." Human Kite: "Remind me to let you get K.O.-ed next time, asshole." ** With The Coon, attacked by The Coon, Alternate Universes Collide Again *** The Coon: "I've wanted to do that for a long time." Human Kite: "Screw you, Coon!" ** With The Coon, The Coon attacked *** The Coon: "You fuck with the Coon, you answer to his friends. Right, guys?" Human Kite: "Yeah, yeah, we'll get around to it." ** With The Coon, The Coon defeated *** Human Kite: "Dead? Already?" The Coon: "Fuck off, all of you." ** With The Coon, Slowed *** Human Kite: "Human Kite, usually so deft and spry, is moving slow." The Coon: "He's deft and spry you guys! He admitted it!" ** With Mysterion, after using Wrath of Kite *** Mysterion: "Death comes on plastic wings." Human Kite: "Actually, I kinda made 'em out of Mylar and this polyurethane stuff." ** With Mysterion, after Mysterion using Demonic Fury *** Human Kite: "Wow, dude, it's like you have zero fear of death." Mysterion: "I'm not the one who needs to be afraid." ** With Mysterion, ally attacked *** Human Kite: "I'll make them pay for that!" Mysterion: "No, vengence will be mine alone." ** With Raisins Girl, turn start *** Human Kite: "Check your watch, crime: It's kite time." Raisins Girl: ??? ** With Raisins Girl, idle *** Raisins Girl: "After we beat you guys up, you wanna buy a Raisins calendar?" Human Kite: "Oh god no." ** With Raisins Girl, self or ally idle *** Raisins Girl: "So, you guys having a good time today?" Human Kite: "No!" ** With Sixth Grader, turn start *** Human Kite: "Feel the wrath of...Human Kite!" Sixth Grader: "Stupid fourthie with a kite on his back!" ** With Super Craig, Super Craig idle *** Human Kite: "Go any time, Craig." Super Craig: "Don't rush me, Kite." ** With Super Craig, after Super Craig attacking *** Human Kite: "If only you put as much effort into your costume as you did that move." Super Craig: "Look, dude. You're lucky I even showed up." ** With Super Craig, after Super Craig using Mega Fist Punch *** Human Kite: "You beat the crap out of them dude, good work." Super Craig: "I don't need your praise, but thank you." ** With Toolshed, turn start *** Human Kite: "Check your watch, crime: It's kite time." Toolshed: ??? ** With Toolshed, Toolshed turn start *** Toolshed: "Ready to screw the bad guys!" Human Kite: "Wow." ** With Toolshed, attacked by Toolshed *** Human Kite: "Jesus, dude. That really hurt!" Toolshed: "Sorry!" ** Fighting Jared, after he speaks *** "Get away from me!" *** "Your gross, and your sandwiches are gross!" * Unsorted ** "Way to protect your healer, assholes." ** "I hope that we can wrap this up." ** "You show that bastard!" ** "Oh no." ** "Nooooo!" ** "Cartman... This is your fault... Ugh...." ** "Your fart kicks ass, Butthole!" ** "This is not a charade. This is Mitch's doing." ** "Urgh, guess we're gonna have to do this the hard way." ** "I can't feel my face. It sucks." ** "You're like The Punisher, if he was a disgruntled hardware store employee." ** Toolshed: "You OK, buddy?" Human Kite: "I'm good. Just makin' some plans." ** "When this blows over, can you make us a sweet tree house?" ** Toolshed: "Excellent use of your kite-based powers, Human Kite!" Human Kite: "Thanks, dude!" The Coon: "Jesus, you two, get a room." ** "Turns out looks CAN kill, right guys?" ** Henrietta: "Nobody. Likes. Kites." Human Kite: "Lots of people do!" ** "God dammit Cartman, stop putting "Coon" on everything!!" ** Human Kite: "If we really fought ourselves in the past, shouldn't we, like, remember it?" Mosquito: "I remember fighting myself in the past." Human Kite: "I mean, like... Ugh, never mind." ** High Jew Elf King Kyle: "You don't stand a chance! Superheroes are so last summer." Human Kite: "What?! When was last time a fantasy franchise got number one at the box office?" ** High Jew Elf King Kyle: "These battle rules are highly unorthodox." Human Kite: "Well, your take on JRPG combat was dated!" ** Butters the Merciful: "How'd you fellas end up here in the past?" Human Kite: "The New Kid farted really bad and ripped a hole in time and space." Thief Craig: "Wow, you couldn't come up with anything better than that?" ** Human Kite: "We're still friends, right?" Toolshed: "Yeah, I guess so." ** "Who knew something so fat could move so fast!" ** Human Kite: "Ow, this hurts worse than hemorrhoids." The Coon: "Suck it, up, Kyle! Jesus!" ** Human Kite: "You guys can't fight my mom! She's gonna kick your ass!" Sheila Broflovski: "Kyle, language!" ** Human Kite: "Oh, great, thanks guys. I'm bleeding." Sheila Broflovski: "Kyle, you're bleeding all over the place. Are you OK?!" Human Kite: "Yeah, I'm fine, Ma." ** "Nice grouping on those shots, Toolshed." ** Human Kite: "Hey, can you guys just give up before we get in more trouble?" The Coon: "Sorry bro. No can do." ** Human Kite: "Yes! Take the fight to them!" Captain Diabetes: "I will, valued ally!" Human Kite: "OK, calm down." ** "So if we beat our past selves, does that mean we change the future?" ** Human Kite: "Nice work stopping their attacks with your body, Chaos!" Professor Chaos: "Oh, thanks!" ** "The needs of many outweigh the needs of one hamster, I guess." ** Professor Chaos: "Let the winds of Chaos blow you, Human Kite..." Human Kite: "You saying you want to blow me, Chaos?" Professor Chaos: "Muahahaha! Chaos!" ** "See, guys. I'm a full-service Human Kite." ** Human Kite: "Hey, Coon, nice of you to give a cosplay option to the plus-sized." The Coon: "Yeah, like for your fat bitch mom." ** Human Kite: "Turns out looks CAN kill, right guys?" The Coon: "No! That is not a Coon and Friends-sanctioned quip, Kite!" ** "Coon and Friends Rules!" Gallery Spfbw-humankite.png|Human Kite in an alternate stance. wallpaper1.png|Promotional splash image of Human Kite. who t h r u.jpg|Human Kite meeting The New Kid for the first time in 'superhero' form. 20180306203055_1.jpg|Human kite telling The New Kid about his dilemma. 20180306203141_1.jpg|Human Kite confronting his alternate self. 20180306203207_1.jpg|Human Kite orders The New Kid to take on his alternate self. 20180306203331_1.jpg|Human Kite observing the battle between The New Kid and his alternate self. 20180306203506_1.jpg|Human Kite watching as his alternate self falls down defeated. 20180222103102 1.jpg|Human Kite notifying The Coon on the argument between Super Craig and Wonder Tweek. 20180315170823_1.jpg|Human Kite asking The New Kid to take on his alternate self...again. 20180410120409 1.jpg|Human Kite appearing at the playground with The New Kid, The Coon and Fastpass. 20180413235127 1.jpg|Human Kite being confronted by Professor Chaos alongside The Coon, The New Kid and Toolshed. 20180414000050 1.jpg|Human Kite being surrounded by Chaos Minions alongside The Coon, The New Kid and Toolshed. 20180415194022 1.jpg 20180414171128 1.jpg|Human Kite, alongside the New Kid encounters a Chaos Kid guarding the U-Stor-It water tower. 20180224175938_1.jpg|Human Kite, perched atop The New Kid preparing to perform Fartkour off the U-Stor-It water tower. 20180414213903 1.jpg|Human Kite performing Fartkour mid-air with The New Kid, smiling 20180417123453 1.jpg|Human Kite observes Professor Chaos regaining consciousness after being kicked awake by The Coon. 20180417123552 1.jpg|Human Kite trying to convince Toolshed to rejoin Coon and Friends. 20180319221744 2.jpg|Human Kite, alongside Coon and Friends confronting Freedom Pals in front of the police staton. 20180319230051 1.jpg|Human Kite discovering that The New Kid has found Scrambles the missing cat. 20180320125511_1.jpg|Human Kite, alongside Coon and Friends being glad on discovering Scrambles the missing cat after defeating the Elder God. 20180320125534 1.jpg|Human Kite, alongside Coon and Friends leaving the police station after discovering Scrambles the missing cat. 20180320125623 1.jpg|Human Kite getting mind controlled by Doctor Timothy. 20180320132519 1.jpg|Human Kite awaking to his senses after The New Kid defeats Doctor Timothy. 20180403193753 1.jpg|Human Kite angrily clutching The Coon, witnessed by the other united Freedom Pals members. 20180313170542_1.jpg|Human Kite pressing the gate buzzer of Mephesto Genetics Lab. 20180312220013_1.jpg|Human Kite speaking through the gate buzzer while covering his nose after time has been shifted by The New Kid's farting powers. at the gate of gen.jpg|Human Kite, along with the united Freedom Pals members appearing at the front entrance of Mephesto Genetics Lab. 20180313171304_1.jpg|Human Kite asking what has happened to Dr. Mephesto's son during the tour of Mephesto Genetics Lab. 20180313175424_1.jpg|Human Kite angrily confronting The Coon after discovering him on the third floor of Mephesto Genetics Lab. 20180313175553_1.jpg|Human Kite asking The New Kid to quickly take a selfie of Mitch Conner's evil plan. 20180313182615_1.jpg|Human Kite screaming in shock after discovering his heavily mutated cousin. 20180210161731_1.jpg|Human Kite unlocked as a Combat Buddy. Trivia * Human Kite seems to take cues from Superman, being an alien from a distant galaxy who wears mostly blue, flies around, and fires beams from his eyes. * The word "Kite" in his superhero name is a play to the word "Kike", a derogatory form of address towards Jewish people. * The phrase that Human Kite exclaims when Mysterion is killed during combat refers to a famous catchphrase from the South Park animated series. * He is seen in his plainclothes in the DLC From Dusk till Casa Bonita, making him the second superhero that can be seen in plainclothes form, the first being Wonder Tweek. References Category:Characters Category:Male characters Category:Heroes Category:South Park: The Fractured But Whole Category:Characters voiced by Matt Stone Category:Characters in South Park: The Fractured But Whole Category:Coon and Friends Category:4th Graders Category:Buddies